


these days

by kelleysohara



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-06-08 00:51:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15231771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelleysohara/pseuds/kelleysohara
Summary: leaving to find my soul, told her I had to go, and I know it ain't pretty, when our hearts get broke [...] and we'll wish we could come back to these days, these daysor, Emily and Kelley fall in love and fall apart just as quickly and it takes a year and some meddling friends to right the wrongs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so... hi hi hi hi hi hi
> 
> guys... so'hara is thriving again and i'm LIVING for it, seriously, it's been eighty-four years. also, i'm pretty sure i'll end up changing the summary so be warned when it changes lmao - also ignore any grammatical errors lol it's late and i haven't had a chance to edit so i'll do it tomorrow 
> 
> anyway, you know the usual :)) hmu on tumblr ok, hoewedeshummels, i'm funny (sometimes)

_October, 2016_

 

“You don’t seem shocked…” Kelley’s voice trails off as her hands tighten around the coffee cup in front of her, her ankle locked around Emily’s under the table.

 

Emily laughs. “Do you want me to be? _Oh my gosh, Christen knows we’re fuck-_ ”

 

“Okay, okay, shut up.” Kelley grumbles, scowling at Emily’s awful attempts to stop laughing, her own cheeks heating up at the suggestive gaze that Emily’s giving her. “I just thought you would be-” Kelley hesitates, frowning as she tries to convey her thoughts into actual words.

 

Emily’s smile drops and she leans forward, her elbows sliding along the table as she pries Kelley’s left hand off the cup, holding her hand loosely. “Hey, what’s so wrong with Christen knowing? I’m just surprised that nobody picked up on it earlier, we haven’t exactly been _subtle_.”

 

Kelley drops her head to hide the blush covering her cheeks. “There’s nothing wrong with Christen knowing, Em. It just makes it real.” Kelley explains, she explains it badly and wonders whether Emily’s got the slightest clue where she’s coming from.

 

“So last night wasn’t real enough for you?” The smirk in Emily’s voice is obvious and Kelley can’t help but laugh at the question. “It sounded pretty real from where I was.”

 

Kelley stamps on Emily’s foot causing the blonde to yelp bringing unwanted attention from the elder couple sitting at the table across from them. Emily holds her hand up, smiling sheepishly whilst Kelley sits back, an amused but satisfied smile on her lips.

 

“If you make anymore comments like that, that’s going to be-” Kelley leans forward, scrunching up her nose as she stops inches from Emily’s face. “- the last time you hear me scream like that.” Kelley whispers, her lips grazing over Emily’s for a second before she leans back, lifting up the coffee cup and pretending as though the last few seconds didn’t just happen.

 

“You can’t resist me.” Emily shrugs, playing with two empty, pink sugar packets that are lying on the table, balancing them on top of the edge of her coffee cup. Emily’s hands shake as she balances the last sugar packet on top of her cup. “Christen’s not going to tell anybody, is she?” Emily asks the question so quickly that Kelley barely catches the words before Emily’s crinkling the sugar packets between her fingers.

 

“Why would Christen tell anybody?” Kelley asks her. “Just because she lives for gossip, it doesn’t mean she likes spreading it.” Kelley laughs but stops when Emily doesn’t join in. “I can tell her not to but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t going to. Em, hey, look at me.” Kelley waves her hand in front of Emily’s face until Emily finally meets her eyes.  “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing.” Emily chokes out a laugh. “I just don’t want to have to spend the weekend dealing with Lindsey’s teasing, that’s all.”

 

“Are you sure?” Kelley asks cautiously, staring at Emily and pretending as though she’s not noticed that Emily’s avoiding her eyes.

 

“I’m sure.” Emily plasters a somewhat overly fake smile on her face. “Don’t be getting soft on me now, O’Hara.” Emily tries to joke but it just comes out sad. “Drink up, Kel; I do believe you promised to help me pick out an outfit for the wedding.”

 

Kelley opens her mouth to say something else but she closes it once she realizes she doesn’t have the words to say what she’s thinking so she settles for drinking the rest of her coffee in two large gulps, standing up from her chair as she reaches for her jacket. “Shall we?” Kelley offers her hand to Emily causing the younger to roll her eyes as she takes Kelley’s hand and stands up.

 

They walk back to the hotel together, there’s a cool breeze that’s welcomed in the Miami heat. There is and always has been an unwritten rule between the pair of them, they can be themselves and so much more when there’s a hotel room, bathroom door or a hidden corner but outside they’re careful, that’s always been the way, ever since it first started in a hotel bathroom in Nashville. They never labeled it, it was just them, and the way they have always been except with a lot more sneaking around that they didn’t hide as well as they thought they were.

 

Kelley freezes for a second when she feels Emily’s fingers graze against hers; her heart rate racing as she forces herself to keep walking, to keep looking forward and to put it down to Emily walking too close but it happens again, Emily’s fingers brush against Kelley’s once more before she loops her pinky around Kelley’s, she holds it there for a few seconds before she lets go and drops her hand back to her side as though it never happened.

 

“Em-”

 

“Don’t say anything, just, let me try something.” Emily shuts Kelley up, knitting her eyebrows together as they continue walking.

 

Kelley’s about to ask when Emily slips her hand into Kelley’s, not grazing her fingers, not loosely holding onto her pinky, holding her hand, fingers intertwined. It’s new territory for both of them, it feels strange at first; walking down the street with their hotel in sight, their hands swinging in the middle of them but they would both be lying if they said it didn’t feel right, after Kelley’s shoulders relax and her thumb brushes over Emily’s knuckles, she realizes just how familiar this all feels, how after seven months of sneaking away when they’re sure their teammates aren’t looking and expensive flights across the country to Portland and New Jersey, holding Emily’s hand in Miami feels the most real that she’s felt about them ever since it started – though she’s sure her bank balance would pose a strong opposing argument.

 

“I just have to go and see Lindsey, wait for me in my room?” Emily holds out her keycard to Kelley. “I won’t be long, promise.”

 

Kelley reaches for the keycard, her hand covering Emily’s. “You promise, huh?” She asks, gazing softly at Emily.

 

“If I’m not in the room in fifteen minutes, you have my permission to come and save me.” Emily jokes, releasing her grip on the keycard so Kelley can grab hold of it.

 

“You’re really letting me go to your room alone? Is today finally going to be the day that I find out what you’re so hell-bent on hiding in that pocket in your suitcase?” Kelley’s teasing but Emily’s eyes widen at the possibility, very small possibility of Kelley rummaging through her suitcase.

 

“On second thoughts-” Emily swipes the keycard back from Kelley. “- I can talk to Lindsey later.”

 

 

“I never would have thought lacy dresses were your thing.” Kelley muses lazily from where she’s lying on Emily’s bed, ankles crossed and arms behind her head.

 

“They’re not.” Emily dismisses as she pulls more dresses out. “Most of these I took from Emma’s closet before I left.” It’s after she pulls the last dress out does Emily turn around, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “Why? Are lacy dresses _your_ thing?”

 

Kelley opens her mouth to answer before she shoots up, shaking her head. “No, not happening, I am not giving you any ideas.”

 

“Fine.” Emily shrugs as she lifts up every dress and drops them onto Kelley’s lap. “I’ll just have to figure it for myself.”

 

Kelley leans back, reaching for her phone that’s on the bedside table. “Good luck with th-” Kelley starts but stops abruptly.

 

Emily’s standing at the foot of her bed, pulling her hair back into a ponytail but Kelley can’t take her eyes off the fact that Emily’s standing there in just jeans and a simple, black bra that Kelley wants nothing more than to unclasp.  Kelley drops her gaze back to her phone, scrolling through her Instagram feed and trying to steady her racing heartbeat.

 

“Okay, what do you think?” Emily asks.

 

It’s a simple gray dress and Kelley’s turning her nose up before she can even come up with a coherent response.

 

“I’m taking that as a no.” Emily assumes, already reaching behind her to pull at the zipper.

 

That’s the general pattern of how the dress choosing task goes; Emily tries on dress after dress and once Kelley has stopped not-so-subtly checking her out, she doesn’t offer many valuable opinions; just either shrugging or bluntly admitting she doesn’t like it.

 

“Just choose a damn dress.” Emily mutters, already reaching for her jeans and pulling them back on as Kelley tosses her phone and it lands on the first gray dress that Emily tried on. “I hated that one, no.” Emily shuts her down immediately before grumbling and throwing herself back on the bed, rubbing her hands over her face. “You’re the least helpful person I have _ever_ met. I should have asked Lindsey.”

 

Kelley reaches over Emily to grab her phone, her nails grazing Emily’s abs as she leans, catching the way Emily sucks in a sharp breath.

 

“Listen, you asked for my opinions and I gave you them.” Kelley shrugs, reaching up to brush loose strands of hair from her bun behind her ear.

 

“ _Em that dress makes you look like you’re going to the funeral of the high school bitch you hated_ is not an opinion, Kel.” Emily deadpans, tilting her head to the side to look at Kelley who is trying and failing to stifle her laughter. “Oh, you think _that’s_ funny?” Emily cocks her left eyebrow as she sits up, staring at Kelley who is struggling to stop herself from keeling over laughing. “It wasn’t even that funny!” Emily exclaims, throwing her hands up in despair. “Stop laughing!” Emily adds.

 

“Make me.” Kelley challenges with a smirk.

 

Emily sits up and in the split second between Kelley’s absentminded challenge, Emily has her hands wrapped around Kelley’s biceps, her thumbs rubbing against the soft material of Kelley’s white t-shirt sleeves. Kelley’s breath hitches in her throat when Emily leans down and kisses the corner of Kelley’s mouth. Emily swings her leg over and straddles Kelley, she’s silent as she fiddles with the hem of Kelley’s t-shirt before she sits back on Kelley’s legs and looks up, meeting her eyes.

 

“So-” Emily starts “- I’ve been thinking.”

 

“Did it hurt?” Kelley asks as soon as Emily finishes.

 

“Funny.” Emily scowls but she struggles to hide the smile that follows.

 

“Sorry, go on.” Kelley smiles softly, resting her hands on Emily’s thighs.

 

“Your idea of living together during the offseason, it’s not your worst idea, let’s do it.” Emily shrugs; a light dusting of pink covering her cheeks as she mumbles out the words.

 

Kelley reaches out, wrapping her hand around the back of Emily’s neck, tangling her fingers in loose strands of Emily’s hair that have fallen out of her bun. Emily leans down until her forehead is against Kelley’s.

 

“I knew you would come around.” Kelley breathes out, her lips hovering over Emily’s before she closes the gap.

 

“I have conditions tho-” Emily starts but Kelley jabs her in the ribs before she can start listing off unnecessary demands.

 

“Shut up and kiss me before the moment is over, Em.” Kelley mumbles against Emily’s lips, the vibrations causing the younger to start laughing, earning another jab to the ribs.

 

Emily stops laughing, cupping Kelley’s cheek; Kelley’s hands move from where her fingers are tracing the skin under Emily’s t-shirt further up, her nails scratching against Emily’s abs causing the younger to shiver under the touch.

 

“Has anybody ever told you you’re really fucking hot?” Emily chokes out, she lets her gaze

 

“All the time.” Kelley replies as smoothly as she can, biding her time as Emily rolls her eyes muttering something under her breath about _how cockiness is only attractive on her_.

 

Emily’s lips taste like coffee, sugary coffee that normally Kelley would turn her nose up at but the sugar taste still on Emily’s lips is intoxicating and Kelley’s wrapping her hand around the back of Emily’s neck again pulling her impossibly closer and suddenly Emily’s lips are on Kelley’s jaw and she’s biting down on the underside of it and swear words are falling from Kelley’s lips and Emily’s hand is pressed against Kelley’s stomach under the white t-shirt she’s wearing. Emily’s lips are working their way across Kelley’s jaw, down her neck and to her collarbone and Kelley’s hands are tangled in Emily’s hair, tugging at the loose bun that she has her hair thrown up in.

 

Kelley mumbles something against Emily’s shoulder blades that Emily doesn’t quite catch so she sits up, leaning back, Kelley’s hands instantly holding onto her thighs again until she lifts her hand and tugs at the bottom of the t-shirt that Emily’s wearing, signaling that she wants it off. Emily lifts her arms above her head and Kelley pulls her shirt off in one quick, smooth motion before attaching her lips to Emily’s neck.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Kel.”

 

Kelley hums in response, hands moving from Emily’s hips to the back of her neck, fingers tangling in the loose hairs from Emily’s bun, her lips never leaving Emily’s neck, not once.

 

A knock at the door is what causes Kelley to lean back but Emily’s already shaking her head, mumbling _ignore it_ and pulling Kelley back in for a kiss, biting down on Kelley’s bottom lip causing the elder to hiss.

 

“Em?!” Lindsey shouts through the door.

 

“Ignore her.” Emily repeats, the vibrations against Kelley’s lips cause her to laugh which earns her a jab to the side from Emily.

 

“I know you’re in there! Emily come on, let me in – oh my god – is there a girl in there? Let me in!” Lindsey continues to shout, her banging on the door becoming increasingly louder the more she goes on.

 

Kelley pushes Emily back, cocking her left eyebrow until Emily sighs, agreeing, reluctantly. She climbs off Kelley’s lap but not before one last kiss that has Kelley smiling. Emily walks across the room to the door, her hand on the handle before Kelley calls out her name and tosses her t-shirt to her, frowning when Emily pulls it on. Emily pulls the door open and stands aside as Lindsey comes barreling into the room.

 

“So where’s the girl – oh – never mind, it’s just Kel.” Lindsey shrugs when she spies Kelley lying on the bed, her phone in her hand.

 

“’Sup Lindsey.” Kelley nods towards her before unlocking her phone.

 

Lindsey turns around to look at Emily, pausing and tilting her head to the side before reaching out her hand causing Emily to duck.

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“Your hair is a mess, dude.” Lindsey laughs, reaching out again and smoothing down Emily’s hair.

 

Out of the corner of her eye; Emily can see Kelley holding her phone up directly in front of her face but she can see the way that Kelley’s shoulders are shaking as she tries to (badly) stifle her laughter. Emily scowls but the heat rushing to her cheeks say otherwise, she fans herself, hoping that Lindsey doesn’t catch onto the pair but Emily has nothing to worry about because Lindsey’s oblivious to everything happening in the room.

 

“Did you want something?” Emily asks, folding her arms across her chest as she leans against the doorframe for support.

 

Lindsey hums. “I wanted to hang out; I haven’t seen you _in forever_.” Lindsey exaggerates, throwing her arms out as she keeps walking into the room, collapsing on the bed and staring up at the ceiling with her arms behind her head.

 

 Kelley looks down at her watch. “I need to go too, I’ll see you later.” Kelley swings her legs over the side of the bed and slips her feet into her shoes before standing up and grabbing her jacket from the edge of the bed.

 

Emily watches her every step, smirking slightly at the newly forming hickey just visible above the collar of her t-shirt. Emily catches Kelley’s wrist as she passes, stopping her in her tracks.

 

“Later?” Emily whispers, her voice barely audible.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Kelley smirks, leaning forward, her lips inches from Emily’s before she remembers that Lindsey is less than three feet from where she’s standing. “Later guys.” Kelley coughs, throwing a wave over her shoulder as she leaves the room.

 

Kelley has just made it down to the lobby when a voice stops her and Christen slides up beside her, looping her arm through Kelley’s with a smile on her face.

 

“I’ve been looking for you.” She sings, nudging Kelley’s shoulder.

 

“You found me.” Kelley grins back.

 

Christen stops, narrowing her eyes as she looks at Kelley. Kelley frowns at the way Christen is looking at her, she uses her free hand and reaches up, Kelley’s eyes following her hand all the way until Christen is tugging at the collar of her t-shirt. Her eyes widen as she notices the hickey on her collarbone.

 

“Holy shit, Kel!” Christen exclaims, pressing her thumb against it causing Kelley to let out a string of profanities until Christen retracts her hand. “I – what – who gave you this?”

 

Kelley presses her lips into a thin line.

 

Christen looks amused as she stands in front of Kelley. “You’re really not going to admit that Emily gave you that?”

 

Kelley still stays quiet, pulling at the collar of her shirt to hide it the best she can before putting her jacket on and shoving her hands into her pockets.

 

“Okay, okay, have it your way, sweetheart.” Christen resigns, holding her hands up in her defense until all the joking nature of her tone fades and she’s tilting her head towards Kelley in a patronizing way that Kelley wants to call her out on. “I haven’t seen you this happy for so long, if she makes you happy then _let her_.” Christen wraps her arm around Kelley’s shoulders and gives her an awkward side hug in the lobby.

 

Kelley smiles.

 

                                                                                                       ****

 

Kelley and Emily don’t get to finish what they start the night before, mainly because Lindsey ends up crashing in Emily’s room after falling asleep during the movie they were watching which Emily is glad for because she doesn’t know if she could have handled Lindsey’s curiosity and demand to know who was texting her and making her as red as she was.

 

Emily’s in the bathroom brushing her teeth when there’s a knock at her door; Lindsey’s still in the process of waking up so Emily is forced to answer the door with her toothbrush sticking out of her mouth and toothpaste on her cheek. Kelley stands at the door wearing an amused smirk, holding two cups of coffee as Emily smiles; her toothbrush dropping out of her mouth and hitting the floor.

 

Lindsey’s engrossed in her phone so Kelley kneels down in front of Emily as Emily picks up her toothbrush and holds it between her thumb and forefinger.

 

“You weren’t kidding – she really stayed here all night?” Kelley’s voice is barely loud enough for herself to hear.

 

“She crashed during the movie; I couldn’t have made her leave if I tried. I’m sorry.” Emily frowns.

 

“Don’t be.” Kelley shrugs the apology off. “We both knew it wouldn’t be easy this weekend.”

 

“Which is why me agreeing to live with you for the next few months is such a good idea.” Emily smiles, remembering what she agreed to yesterday.

 

Kelley’s face lights up and she grins, nodding.

 

“ _Such a good idea_.”

 

Emily skips to the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth before she returns and takes the cup of coffee that Kelley’s holding out to her gratefully. Lindsey’s fallen back asleep which causes Emily to roll her eyes at first until she realizes that Lindsey is quite literally dead to the world. Kelley’s in the middle of a sentence when Emily surges forward and interrupts her with a kiss, it’s quick and it’s over before Kelley’s even realized.

 

“Before I forget; thank _you_ for this.” Kelley pulls her sweatshirt collar down and exposes the hickey that’s still proudly on her collarbone.

 

Emily laughs before leaning forward and tracing her finger over it. “Some of my best work; wouldn’t you agree?”

 

Kelley hums, humoring Emily briefly. “It was until Christen saw it-”

 

Emily opens her mouth to say something but Kelley shushes her.

 

“- I didn’t tell her you gave me it but I’m _pretty sure_ she has that one figured out.” Kelley shrugs as she takes a sip of coffee.

 

Emily sits across from Kelley silently, drinking her own coffee as the conversation dims down to nothing; just Lindsey’s snoring is the only noise in the room. Emily tosses her empty cup into the trash and stands up, spinning around as she tries to find her hoodie which is lying over the back of the chair; she wordlessly crosses the room, grabbing the garment and pulls it over her head.

 

“Come on.” Emily nods towards the door, swiping her keycard from the table and pocketing it as well as her phone.

 

“Where are we going?” Kelley asks, dropping her empty cup into the trash also.

 

“Anywhere.” Emily shrugs, a small hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she opens the door. “After you.”

 

“Seriously. Where are we going?” Kelley asks as the two of them walk down the hallway towards the elevator.

 

“Just trust me.” Emily tells her, her hand on Kelley’s arm as she punches the elevator button.

 

 

It’s a trek from their hotel but they finally arrive at South Beach. It’s still early and pretty clear, Emily sits down on the wall, her legs swinging as she stares out at the water; there’s a slight chill in the air so she pulls her hoodie sleeves down over her hands as she stares up at Kelley waiting for her to sit down also. Kelley admires the choice but she still has zero idea why Emily brought her here and why she couldn’t just tell her that they were coming here in the first place. Emily waits until Kelley’s sitting beside her, their thighs are pressed together but neither of them move; Kelley’s fingers hover above Emily’s but she doesn’t make a move to hold her hand.

 

“My family came on vacation here when I was eight; it was the _best_ vacation I’ve ever been on. It was just a week at the beach playing soccer and nearly drowning-”

 

Kelley opens her mouth to say something about the drowning but Emily’s already continuing.

 

“I felt so free; it was as though nothing could hurt me, or stop me, I hadn’t laughed that much in my entire life. I wanted to move here, this felt like home, Emma and I begged our parents to buy a beach house here so we could come back every summer but that obviously didn’t happen. We went on a lot more vacations after that but none of them ever made me feel as happy as I did here.”

 

Kelley has no clue where Emily’s going but she just lets her carry on. Emily pauses a lot, as though she’s trying to gather her thoughts, as though she’s speaking faster than she can think.

 

“- You make me feel the same way.” Emily finishes, she still hasn’t taken her eyes off the waves. “You make me feel like I did during that week.”

 

Kelley’s speechless; she doesn’t know what to say so she just stares at the side of Emily’s head, mouth open slightly. The silence between them stays for a few more seconds as both of them let Emily’s words hang in the air. Emily turns her head; Kelley’s already looking at her.

 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Emily tells her softly, lifting her hand and putting it in her pocket. “I just needed to say it.”

 

Kelley thinks about what Emily said for the rest of the day, every time she tries not to, they’re there, in the back of her mind and it’s new but it’s not weird, it’s not entirely too far off what she feels,  it’s exactly what she wanted to hear without realizing it.

 

Kelley has been screwed over, she’s been hurt and she’s closed herself off – that’s why this thing between her and Emily was the best thing she needed at the time. Kelley needed to blow off steam, she needed something casual, something fun and Emily was more than willing to oblige. That’s all it was supposed to be, that’s what Kelley had forced herself into thinking it was but she knew it was never just casual. Kelley knows that somewhere in the last seven months; Emily had wormed her way into her heart.

 

Emily is silent next to her; she’s engrossed in the TV, watching Friends. Their bodies are pressed together and Emily’s hand is resting against Kelley’s thigh and Kelley’s convinced that Emily can hear her heart beating through her chest. Emily’s laughter catches Kelley off guard and she jumps, Emily turns around, lowering the volume on the TV.

 

“What?” She asks.

 

Kelley just shakes her head, unable to stop the smile forming on her lips as she leans forward, pressing her lips against Emily’s.

 

                                                                                                    ****

 

Emily isn’t wearing any of the dresses she showed Kelley. It’s a red, lacy dress that show off just how toned her legs are. Kelley’s watching her as she talks to Lindsey, her ankles crossed as she laughs, throwing her head back as she does.

 

Christen appears beside Kelley, letting out a low whistle when she sees Emily.

 

“Damn-” Christen smirks. “- you couldn’t have more obvious heart eyes for her if you tried.”

 

Kelley tears her eyes away from Emily to focus her gaze on Christen who is looking seven kinds of smug as she looks between both Kelley and Emily.

 

“Shut up.” Kelley mumbles out feebly, her cheeks reddening as she speaks. “I like the dress.” Kelley lies, it’s a terrible lie and Christen sees straight through it.

 

“You like the girl wearing the dress.” Christen corrects.

 

Kelley doesn’t argue.

 

 

Kelley lets Lindsey sit in-between Emily and herself during the ceremony and Kelley doesn’t miss the way Emily frowns as Lindsey sits down beside her instead of Kelley. Emily stares at Kelley as Kelley sits down for a few seconds before the softest of sighs leaves her lips as she turns her head forward. Kelley turns her head and Christen’s glaring at her, mouthing _what the fuck_ to Kelley who just smiles sheepishly before turning back around, knowing that Christen is rolling her eyes at the back of Kelley’s head.

 

 

Kelley’s sat down, she’s talking to Tobin during the reception but her eyes are trained on Emily who is on the dancefloor with Merritt and one of Bati’s younger cousins. Kelley’s hand shakes as she holds onto her nearly empty wine glass as she watches Emily twirl the young girl she’s dancing with, and just when she doesn’t think it can; Emily’s smile gets bigger as Bati’s cousin laughs and takes hold of Emily’s other hand.

 

Tobin coughs causing Kelley to turn to face her.

 

“What?”

 

“I didn’t think I’d ever see it again.” Tobin replies cryptically leading Kelley to shrug, waiting for more of an explanation. “The return of O’Hara heart eyes; it’s been a while.” Tobin teases causing the blood to rush to Kelley’s cheeks, making her already tinted pink cheeks even redder. “Go and dance with her.”

 

“She’s dancing already.” Kelley resists.

 

“You have done nothing but stare at her since she got up from the table to dance with Bati’s cousin, go and fucking dance with her before I drag you out there myself.” Tobin tells her straight, staring Kelley down until she gives in.

 

“Fine.” Kelley mutters, finishing off the last of the wine in her glass before getting to her feet.

 

 Tobin sits back smugly as Kelley heads to the dancefloor, knowing that Alex, Ali and Christen are all watching her as she slides up behind Emily, her hand pressed into Emily’s waist, mainly to keep her own balance – she’s not drunk, just tipsy.

 

“I thought you’d never take the hint.” Emily whispers, turning and letting her lips graze Kelley’s cheek. “You really let me dance alone for five songs.”

 

“I wouldn’t say you were alone.” Kelley nods towards Bati’s cousin.

 

“That’s _not_ the point and you know it.” Emily says with a shake of her head.

 

Bati’s cousin leaves them alone to go and chase some of the other flowergirls around the room so Emily turns and swings one of her arms around Kelley’s shoulders, pushing herself as close as she can to Kelley, their stomachs are pressed together and Kelley can feel Emily breathing in and out. Kelley’s free hand is shaking as she reaches for Emily’s hand, holding it, letting their fingers intertwine as the song changes. The next song is slow, Kelley’s never heard of it but she can see Emily mouthing the words to it. They’re swaying, half stumbling due to the alcohol in their system but they only have eyes for the other. As far as they’re both concerned; they’re the only two that are in the room.

 

“ _And where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face. Now I see it every day and I know that I am, I am, I am the luckiest_.” Emily whispers along to the lyrics to the song so quietly that Kelley barely hears her over the noise of everybody surrounding them.

 

Emily lets go of Kelley’s hand and steps closer, dropping her head to rest on Kelley’s shoulder as Kelley’s arms wrap around her, holding Emily as close as she can.

 

 

They’re all back at the table nearly an hour later. Emily is sitting in the chair beside Kelley, her legs thrown up in Kelley’s lap as she sips on the whiskey sour that she made Kelley get for her. Alex is sleepy as she leans against Servando’s shoulder. Christen and Tobin are talking to Ashlyn and Ali whilst Ali looks across the table at the pair of them, sending Kelley a loving look as Kelley stares at Emily with a small smile on her face at how Emily is sleepily sipping her drink. Ashlyn is sitting beside Ali, mouthing _nice_. Emily finishes her drink and places the empty glass on the table as she reaches for Kelley’s hand on the table, pulling it down into her lap as she traces patterns into the back of her hand.

 

“You make me happy, Kel, so fucking happy.” Emily murmurs; she’s a little more than tipsy now so her Southern drawl is a lot more prominent that it usually is.

 

Christen and Ali coo softly, both leaning forward and smiling at the pair. Kelley drops her gaze, knowing she’s blushing as she turns to Emily, turning her hand upwards so that she can hold Emily’s hand properly.

 

“You too, Em, _you too_.” Kelley muses.

 

 

Emily is barely awake at this point. She’s curled into Kelley’s side, arms wrapped around Kelley’s shoulders and her face in the crook of Kelley’s neck, eyes fluttering open and closed every few seconds. It’s uncomfortable for Kelley, her leg is cramping from where Emily has her knee awkwardly placed but she can’t move, she just can’t bring herself to disturb Emily.

 

“It is true, isn’t it?” Christen asks Kelley, slipping into the empty seat beside Kelley. “You and her?”

 

Kelley taps her fingers against the table, there’s absolutely no use trying to deny it now because nobody, not even Kelley could believe herself. She never thought she’d find herself back in a position like this; she never thought she would find herself caring about someone this much again.

 

Kelley is terrified, she’s really fucking terrified of what this means. It’s harder this time, fuck, she swore that she wouldn’t find herself in a position like this again with a teammate, a teammate makes everything that much harder. She’s fallen hard before and she’s been slammed to the ground, forced to pick up the pieces after everything fell apart, and she’s scared of finding herself back in the same position. She swore, she promised herself, she forced herself not to fall for Emily. She desperately tried to keep it below the lines of emotion, but here she is, again, finding herself wanting more than just sneaking away with Emily into hotel rooms and bathrooms and keeping her behind in the locker room after practice after everybody else has left so she can pin Emily against the wall.  Now she wants to see Emily every day after practice, she wants to take her out on real dates that aren’t just hanging out at coffee shops for an obscene amount of time, she wants to fall asleep at night with her arms wrapped around Emily and wake up with Emily lying on top of her and her hair in her face and the thought of that alone frightens her so much.

 

“It’s true.” Kelley finally admits, smiling slightly when the words leave her lips.

 

It’s the first time she’s actually admitted that they’re whatever they are.

 

“I’m happy, Chris, fuck, I’m _really_ happy.” Kelley laughs at herself, how she feels like she’s back in middle school experiencing her first real crush.

 

Christen squeals before gushing and leaning across the table, holding Kelley’s hand so tightly between her own.

 

“I can’t believe it, Kel. I’m so, so happy. I’m going to cry, is it weird if I cry? I don’t care I’m going to cry anyway.” Christen rambles; her laughter becomes choked the more she looks at Kelley. “I’ve wanted to see you like this again for so long. Tell me everything.”

 

“No.” Kelley laughs. “Not here, not now.”

 

Christen frowns.

 

“Coffee date tomorrow?” Kelley suggests. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

 

“It’s a date, gosh, this is amazing Kel.” Christen leans over and kisses Kelley’s cheek before Tobin comes up behind the pair, her hands on Christen’s shoulders.

 

After Christen and Tobin leave; Ali and Ashlyn get ready to leave as do Alex and Servando. Only a few people are actually still at the reception when Emily stirs, opening her eyes and leaning back to look into Kelley’s eyes, her makeup is smudged and she’s still unable to keep her eyes open longer than a few seconds but to Kelley she’s never looked so fucking beautiful.

 

“Nice of you to join us again, _Sleeping Beauty_.” Kelley laughs as she runs her hand up and down Emily’s back causing the younger to shiver under her touch.

 

“Where is everyone?” Emily asks, looking around and not finding too many people that she recognizes.

 

“They’ve gone back to the hotel, you ready to leave?” Kelley asks, lifting her hand to brush Emily’s hair out of her face.

 

“More than ready. Give me a piggyback?” Emily asks, batting her eyelashes. “My feet _really_ hurt, Kel.” She adds.

 

Kelley obliges and stands up, leaning down so Emily can jump onto her back, wrapping her arms tightly around Kelley’s neck, nearly choking her in the process but Kelley resists the urge to make a sex joke.

 

The walk up to Emily’s room is long and tiring and Kelley’s legs feel like they’re about to give way when Emily struggles to use her keycard properly and open the door the first five times. Once Emily finally cracks it and unlocks the door, Kelley kicks the door open with more force than necessary, she walks into the room, turning and dropping Emily onto the bed causing Emily to start laughing loudly as she covers her face with her hand; the alcohol still in her system.

 

“Kel, can we order room service? And watch a movie? And play a game? And stay up all night, Kel please, we don’t have much time here left-”

 

“Slow down, dude.” Kelley laughs as she slips her shoes off and leaves them by the door. “I think it’s a better idea if we go to sleep.”

 

“That’s no fun.” Emily pouts, crossing her arms over her chest as she stares at Kelley.

 

“I know babe but you’ll thank me tomorrow.” Kelley promises her, leaning down and pressing her palms into the bed on either side of Emily. “Trust me.” Kelley whispers against Emily’s lips before kissing her pout away.

 

Kelley looks through Emily’s suitcase, pulling out a t-shirt and throwing it at Emily before grabbing another one for herself and walking into the bathroom to tie her hair up, take her makeup off and brush her teeth – she really doesn’t know why she has her own room because during this entire weekend she’s pretty sure she’s only been in her room for six hours at the most. Kelley changes out of her dress into the t-shirt and brushes her teeth before she exits the bathroom, turning the light off as she walks back into the room. Emily’s still sitting on the bed holding the t-shirt that Kelley threw at her.

 

“Help me?” Emily asks, winking, or attempting to at least.

 

Kelley doesn’t object.

 

Kelley undoes the zipper to Emily’s dress, slowly, so slowly, leaning down and kissing Emily’s shoulder as she does, her fingers dancing against Emily’s waist and hips as the dress falls to the floor. Emily moans as Kelley’s fingers keep pressing against her skin, her fingers are cold and they cause Emily to shiver as she relaxes and leans into Kelley’s touch.

 

Kelley stops abruptly. “Okay, now it’s time for bed.” She yawns as she rounds the side of the bed, already pulling back the covers.

 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Emily grumbles, holding the t-shirt in her hand as she glares at Kelley. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Kelley.”

 

“ _Oh_.” Kelley laughs. “I could finish.”

 

“Kelley.” Emily whines but Kelley just gets into bed, sitting up and patting the other side of the bed. “So fucking mean.” Emily mutters as she pulls the shirt over her head and walks around the bed, climbing in.

 

Emily lies down with her back to Kelley which is more amusing than it should be to Kelley who also lies down, leaning over and throwing her arm across Emily’s stomach.

 

“If you’re lucky I’ll finish in the morning.” Kelley whispers, chuckling when Emily flips over and faces her.

 

“Much better.” Emily smiles sleepily. “Night Kel.” She whispers leaning forward and kissing Kelley before she curls into Kelley’s side, her eyes already closed.

 

Kelley kisses Emily’s forehead. “Night Em.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo. hey. hi. i'm back. lmao. what's up? i hope you're having a cool day

_November, 2016_

 

Kelley would never admit it, not verbally at least but waking up with Emily’s elbow digging into her ribs, their legs tangled together under the sheets, Emily’s hair in her mouth and their arms wrapped around each other so tightly as though they’re scared if they let go the other will disappear is her favorite way to wake up.

 

This morning is different; Kelley doesn’t wake up to something pressing against her ribs, she doesn’t feel her leg cramping from the way Emily has her ankle locked around hers, and she can breathe freely. Kelley throws her arm across the bed, finally opening her eyes when she doesn’t hit a body, her arm just falling to the empty side of the bed. It takes Kelley longer to haul herself out of bed but once she does, she’s walking through the house, yawning as she ties her hair up until she reaches the kitchen, finally finding Emily sitting at the breakfast bar; her back to Kelley as she scrolls through her phone.

 

Gliding up behind her, Kelley wraps her arms around Emily’s shoulders from behind; hooking her chin on Emily’s shoulder. Emily tenses before relaxing, dropping her phone to the countertop before holding onto Kelley’s arm.

 

“You know when I said we had the day off today I thought that meant we’d stay in bed longer than-” Kelley squints as she looks at the clock hanging above the fireplace in the living room. “- Seven-thirty.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep.” Emily yawns, leaning back against Kelley’s chest, her eyes fluttering between open and closed for the next few seconds.

 

“You sure?” Kelley asks her, an amused smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “You look _wide awake_.” Kelley draws out sarcastically.

 

Emily hums, not choosing to elaborate or reply to Kelley’s sarcasm with better sarcasm of her own. Kelley’s just about to let Emily go to go and make herself some coffee when she notices just what Emily had been looking at on her phone; it’s clear as day now, it causes everything that Kelley had thought was slightly odd about Emily’s attitude for the last week.

 

Kelley knew how disappointed, disheartened Emily was when she found out she was left off the roster for the two friendlies against Romania; especially after she had been called up the month before for the Switzerland friendlies. Kelley could just see how Emily’s smile wasn’t reaching her eyes; the corners of her eyes weren’t crinkling when she laughed like Kelley was so used to seeing. Kelley should have picked up on it earlier but Emily never mentioned it, she was never going to, she was still calling Kelley every night from here, talking to her until she fell asleep, she still watched the game in a bar in Atlanta with some old friends and she definitely didn’t (did) send a string of drunken texts to Kelley after the game that made little to zero sense but Kelley could make out the word _proud_ in the third message.

 

“Stop staring at my phone.” Emily cuts through the silence, still with her eyes closed as a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips. “I was just checking to see if they have posted more pictures of you. I need a new lockscreen.” Emily half teases as she sits up, letting Kelley’s arms fall back to her sides as she twirls in the stool and turns to face Kelley.

 

“For the record; I wasn’t staring and I like your-” Kelley swipes Emily’s phone from the counter, locking it before turning it back on. “- You changed it?” Kelley stares at Emily’s phone until the screen goes black again. “I preferred the other one.”

 

“Why do you think I changed it?” Emily smirks, taking her phone back and dropping it back onto the counter before letting both of her hands fall onto Kelley’s biceps, looking up and meeting her eyes. “You know-” Emily turns and looks back at the clock. “- We still have an hour before we have to leave.”

 

“You’re leaving – _oh –_ I thought today was our day off?” Kelley sighs, furrowing her eyebrows.

 

“It’s Saturday and you only have two days before your camp and you have a lot to do but we can spare an hour.” Emily shrugs, standing up from the stool and wrapping her hand around the back of Kelley’s neck and pulling her down so she can kiss her. “Unless you think we should leave now?” Emily mumbles against Kelley’s lips.

 

“Shut up, Sonnett.” Kelley works her fingers into the groove just above Emily’s hip under her shirt causing the younger to squirm at the touch.

 

“You’re a dick.” Emily grumbles, getting her own back and biting over the same hickey at the base of Kelley’s neck that she gave her the night before.

 

“ _Jesus, fuck_ , Em.” Kelley groans, wrapping one hand around the back of Emily’s neck and her other hand splayed across Emily’s back as walks backwards, pulling Emily with her until her back hits the wall just beside their bedroom door. Kelley flips their positions, pinning Emily against the wall and sliding her leg in-between Emily’s. “You know-” Kelley kisses Emily again. “- An hour is _long_ time.” Kelley bites down on Emily’s bottom lip.

 

“It isn’t if you don’t take me in the fucking bedroom right now.” There’s a strong sense of urgency to Emily’s voice.

 

Kelley doesn’t think there’s anything hotter than Emily swearing.

 

 

“You really want to stay in the car? Should I crack a window, leave you some water?” Kelley teases as she stands on the sidewalk, the driver’s side door of her car still open as she rests her right arm atop of it and stares at Emily who is slouched in the passenger seat. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be stuck here.” Kelley tries again.

 

“I’m fine, Kel.” Emily laughs, slouching further and throwing her feet up on the dashboard. “I’ll take that water though.” Emily stretches out her hand and Kelley slaps it.

 

“It’s in the back, go fish.” Kelley grins at her. “I’ll try and keep it short. I promise.”

 

Emily hums. “Go, I’m going to be fine.” Emily shoos Kelley until Kelley relents and shuts her door, and if Emily gets a great view of her ass as she heads into the building; it’s worth it.

 

It’s a long meeting, longer than Kelley thought it was going to be. She texts Emily a couple of times but the messages just go unread which makes the meeting a lot harder to keep her focus on, she taps her nails against her phone screen, struggling to keep her eyes open as she offers up various answers here and there. Kelley unlocks her phone, her finger hovering over her message thread with Emily; still her messages haven’t been read.

 

“Jesus Christ, Em.” Kelley mutters, although not quite as quietly as she thought she had.

 

The room falls silent, all eyes falling on Kelley who smiles sheepishly, laughing nervously at the eyes on her before she drops her head, locking her phone and turning it face down so she’s not tempted to be distracted anymore; she just hopes that the meeting ends soon.

 

It’s over after another twenty-five minutes and Kelley can’t get out of the building fast enough. She still has no text back and when she gets back to her car, she realizes why. Kelley’s not surprised that Emily’s asleep, she’s jealous, yes, because she wishes she could have been asleep for the last hour and a half. Kelley gets into the car, shutting her door louder than she usually would but Emily doesn’t stir. Kelley turns the engine on when an idea hits her and she turns the radio on, flicking through the stations until she finds something that she’s sure resembles punk and she turns the volume up to the fullest – Emily jolts awake.

 

“Fuck me, Kel!” Emily yelps, instantly slamming her hand against the radio and turning it.

 

“I would but my car isn’t as big as it looks.” Kelley chimes in.

 

Emily rolls her eyes.

 

Kelley starts driving to a coffee shop that’s near the office, it’s small and hidden away and Emily stumbled across it a few months back during a few days back home, she took a picture and sent it to Kelley telling her that they were going to go there together as soon as they were in Atlanta together – Kelley only remembers her heart soaring as she sat on the couch back in Jersey, her cheeks reddening by the second at how _that_ was Emily’s first thought.

 

“Get your damn dirty shoes off my dashboard.” Kelley grumbles stopping at the traffic light and reaching over to swat at Emily’s calf.

 

“These are brand new!” Emily protests, showing them off, gesturing to how pristine and white they still are. “You’re just jealous my brand deal is better than yours.” Emily half mumbles the words but after spending the last few weeks in close proximity to the other; it’s more than loud enough for Kelley to hear.

 

“ _Sure_ , Em.” Kelley humors her. “I’m _so_ jealous of your amazing brand deal, no really, you got me good.”

 

“Sarcastic much?” Emily shoots back, cocking her left eyebrow as she stares at the side of Kelley’s head.

 

“Annoying much?” Kelley bites back, grinning when Emily scowls.

 

Kelley (regretfully) lets Emily choose the radio station for the drive to the coffee shop, throwback nineties hits play and despite Kelley’s resistance to sing along to the Backstreet Boys with Emily, she can’t fight the smile threatening to form at Emily outrageously attempting to show off her best boyband dance moves despite being confined to the passenger seat.

 

“ _Tell me why_.” Emily sings, tilting her head to the side, eyes focused on Kelley.

 

“No.” Kelley laughs.

 

“ _Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache. Tell me why._ ”

 

“Not going to happen.” Kelley chuckles as she makes a sharp left, sharper than she intended to try and deter Emily – it doesn’t work.

 

“- _I never wanna hear you say, I want it that way._ ”

 

It takes nearly most of the song but Emily gives up trying to get Kelley to sing along with her, instead she settles for her hand resting dangerously high on Kelley’s thigh as she hums along to the next song playing. Emily is biting her nail, staring out of the window but her hand is still pressed there, not moving and Kelley is trying desperately hard not to squirm or at least slap Emily’s hand away.

 

Emily’s hand inches higher causing Kelley to intake a sharp breath; out of the corner of her eye, Kelley can see a smirk tugging at the corners of Emily’s lips.

 

“Emily.” Kelley warns, squinting so she can keep her focus on the road. “Stop it.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Emily whistles, pressing her palm further against Kelley’s thigh.

 

“If you don’t move your hand I’m going to crash the fucking car.” Kelley states bluntly and Emily immediately retracts her hand, placing it in her lap.

 

 

They get to the coffee shop in one piece which leads to not an argument, but more of a squabble about their coffee orders which couldn’t be more opposite if they tried.

 

“Nobody, literally nobody could forget a coffee order that bad.” Emily scrunches her nose up as she speaks. “It’s black with no sugar, it’s bitter, like you.” Emily turns her back, half expecting Kelley to laugh or a sarcastic comment to come in return but she gets neither. “I’m not taking it back, you know I’m right.” Emily muses as she spins around to face Kelley.

 

“You know there is a _perfectly_ good couch in the living room, if you continue you’re going to be sleeping there tonight.” Kelley slides in front of Emily,

 

“There is also a perfectly good bedroom down the hall.” Emily reminds her.

 

“You’ll have to make the bed. Fresh sheets are in the closet.” Kelley smirks as she playfully slaps Emily’s cheek and takes her drink from the counter leaving Emily alone, dumbfounded.

 

“What the hell did I just agree to?” Emily mumbles, knitting her eyebrows together as she grabs her own drink, trailing after Kelley to the table.

 

                                                                                                               ****

 

“Are you sure you have everything?” Kelley asks, leaning against the front door, swinging her keys around her finger as Emily rushes between the living room and kitchen.

 

“I’m sure, Kel. Let’s go.” Emily starts walking towards Kelley when Kelley holds her hand up, stopping Emily in her tracks.

 

“Are you _sure_ you aren’t forgetting _something_?” Kelley repeats, crossing her arms over her chest this time as Emily stares at her, waiting for some sort of hint. “Your fucking shoes Em.” Kelley sighs exasperatedly.

 

Emily looks down and realizes she has actually forgotten to put her shoes on. She has her coat on, her backpack on her back but she’s forget to put her shoes on.

 

“Come on, we’re going to be late.” Kelley tries to hurry Emily up.

 

“Whatever you say, _mom_.” Emily grumbles already running back towards the bedroom.

 

They’re in the car a few minutes later, Kelley pulling out of the driveway before stopping to put her seatbelt on. Emily’s drumming her fingers against her thigh when Kelley starts driving again, smirking as she turns to face Emily.

 

“So, a mommy kink, huh?” Kelley tries to stifle her laughter.

 

It takes Emily a second but when the realization dawns on her, her jaw drops and she scrambles for  a coherent response but she can’t formulate any words apart from.

 

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

Kelley loses it laughing and Emily pulls her hoodie up so that it’s covering the majority of her face.

 

 

“You know the whole point of you being here was to help.” Kelley comments as she walks past Emily dragging a bag behind her, stopping momentarily to raise her eyebrows at Emily who is still sitting on the table.

 

“I don’t want to disturb you, you’re working _so_ hard.” Emily shoots back with a smile, watching Kelley roll her eyes. “Anyway, I’m enjoying the view.” Emily doesn’t try to hide the suggestiveness in her voice and for a brief second it catches Kelley off-guard and the bag she’s holding falls from her hand and a few of the soccer balls roll out.

 

Kelley picks one of the balls up, throwing it at Emily who catches it with ease. Emily tilts her head to the side, spinning the ball between her hands.

 

“Help.” Kelley tells her, staring at Emily until Emily gives in and hops off the table.

 

“What do I get for helping?” Emily asks, sliding up beside Kelley and nudging her shoulder.

 

“Don’t push it.” Kelley smiles at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she pushes Emily to go and work with her foot.

 

Emily punts the ball up in the air, letting it fall into Kelley’s waiting hands before leaning in, her lips are inches from Kelley’s and Kelley’s breath hitches in her throat, and Kelley _hates_ how after months, Emily still has this effect on her and just when Kelley thinks that Emily’s about to close the gap, she backs up, a satisfied smirk on her lips.

 

“Come on, we have work to do.”

 

“You’re unbelievable.” Kelley mutters under her breath but it’s loud enough for Emily to hear and she flips her ponytail in response before laughing and getting to work.

 

 

Emily knows she’s fucked, she also knows she has been for the last eight months. At first it was fun, it was just fun to sneak around from hotel room to hotel room, the bruises from Kelley stumbling in a dark bathroom as she pushed Emily up against the counter a little too harshly faded but the way it felt didn’t – she should have known then that it wasn’t simple, deep down she knew getting involved with a teammate was risky, getting involved with Kelley was riskier and Emily knew that but she still got involved.

 

Kelley’s face is lit up and she hasn’t stopped smiling once during the day, she’s in her element, her favorite place. She answers so many questions that her voice begins to get hoarse, her face lights up as she talks about winning the World Cup, she politely avoids as many questions about the Olympics as she can but Emily can see the way her face falls when a girl who can’t be any older than ten mentions the Sweden game but then she’s laughing again, cutting the question session short for the time-being before getting on with the rest of the activities of the day with the promise they’ll end with another Q&A. 

 

Kelley speaks with such confidence, such enthusiasm and such experience that Emily can’t not listen to what she’s saying. She relates what she says so much to her own experiences and she has never looked as comfortable as she does at this moment.

 

Emily helps when she needs to but for the most part she’s in the background, she talks a lot but when Kelley grabs her hand and pulls her in to join in; Emily doesn’t resist but she does show off as much as she can to her own and Kelley’s amusement. They joke around, after Emily disappears back to hiding in the background and Kelley starts talking again. Emily does her best to try and distract Kelley and make her laugh, she’s amazed at how bad Kelley is at keeping her composure.

 

Kelley spends forever signing things and taking pictures but what surprises Emily is when kids come up to her asking her to sign things and take pictures. This is the part of her career that she thinks she’ll never get used to, she can handle the professional side, moving across the country to play in Portland, being called up to the national team and playing alongside players that nearly a year and a half ago she was watching win the World Cup in Canada in a bar in Atlanta alongside her friends but now people know who she is and she doesn’t think she will ever consider this normal.

 

She takes a lot of pictures, so many that her jaw starts to hurt from her smiling so much.

 

Emily is clearing up after the last girl has left until she notices Kelley alone so she drops the ball she’s holding in her hand and walks up behind Kelley, wrapping her arms around Kelley’s waist from behind and hooking her chin on Kelley’s shoulder.

 

“Hey-”

 

“I’m so fucking proud of you.” Emily interjects. “I know this isn’t the first time you’ve done this but you didn’t even know who I was last year so it doesn’t count.”

 

“I knew who you were.” Kelley corrects.

 

“Shut up?” Emily suggests and Kelley does just that.

 

“I’m just really proud of you but you have _terrible_ composure – most of the time I just had to look at you to make you laugh.” Emily scoffs. “One time I just put my hand up and you started laughing, seriously, you are not the person you are on the field.”

 

“I _can_ be the same person I am on the field.” Kelley winks. “- So, what do you want for helping?”

 

“Dinner.” Emily answers immediately. “- Is anybody looking at us?” Emily asks.

 

Kelley looks around; furrowing her eyebrows but everybody left is busying themselves away from Emily and Kelley, clearing up and having conversations amongst themselves.

 

“Cool.” Emily shrugs before spinning Kelley around in her arms and leaning in to kiss the corner of Kelley’s mouth, stepping back with a slight smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “Cool.” Emily repeats as she lets her arms fall back to her sides before spinning on her heel and walking away, kicking up one of the remaining stray soccer balls on her way past.

 

Emily Sonnett is somewhat of a mystery and a somewhat completely open book and it drives Kelley insane. On the one hand, Kelley knows that Emily hates pineapples, also that she has to have the volume on the TV on a zero or a five, and she also knows that Emily broke her nose when she was nine after she took a soccer ball to the face during a game. Kelley knows a lot about Emily but it’s the quiet moments in the middle of the night when she’s just about to fall asleep and she feels Emily shuffling around and sighing a heaving sigh. It’s the moments when Emily falls quiet in the middle of a conversation and Kelley would kill to know what she’s thinking. It still scares her, just _how_ much she wants to know everything about Emily, she doesn’t just want to know the funny stories and the embarrassing moments but she wants to be there in a way she hasn’t been there for someone in a long time.

 

“Kel!” Emily shouts across the field, spinning a cone around her finger. “Whoever gets the least cones has to do dishes tonight!”

 

It’s then moments like that when the childish glimmer in Emily’s eyes appears when she bets something as simple as getting out of doing the dishes that Kelley isn’t scared, that this isn’t scary, this is just Emily and she hates doing the dishes.

 

“You’re on!”

 

Kelley loses but she doesn’t care, she cares even less when Emily dances around her and makes up an on-the-spot rap about how she’s better.

 

                                                                                                          ****                                                         

 

Kelley falls down and lies on her back on the field, her arm thrown over her face as her chest rises up and down as she tries to catch her breath. It’s not exactly bright and sunny out but Kelley can tell there’s a body beside her and her line of sight is shadowed. Kelley doesn’t react, she just stays lying down until she feels a finger press against the bruise that’s definitely forming on the side of her knee.

 

“Do you fucking mind?” Kelley half growls, half hisses as she pulls her leg away from Emily.

 

“Looks bad.” Emily comments simply, pressing her finger against it again but this time Kelley doesn’t jerk or move her leg away.

 

Kelley hums in response. “And whose fault is that?” Kelley asks, lifting her arm from her face for a second as she finds Emily smirking face staring back down at her.

 

“I have _no_ idea. I hope you got them back though.” Emily’s smirk turns into a cocky half-smile that Kelley would love nothing more than to either kiss or slap away.

 

“All I’m saying is _whoever_ did this should definitely watch their back when they’re home tonight.” Kelley shrugs as she pushes herself up so that she’s sitting up, brushing the turf pellets off her arms.

 

“Is that a _threat_?” Emily bats her eyelashes as she stares at Kelley. “It was a clean tackle!” She exclaims not three seconds later.

 

“Bullshit.” Kelley laughs, scrunching up her nose as she pushes Emily’s shoulder. “You took me out.”

 

Emily bites back the urge to argue; instead she just falls back and lies on the field, her hand across her stomach as she stares up at the sky, squinting because in the mid-afternoon sun that’s still out she can’t see shit.

 

Kelley shifts so that she’s lying across Emily’s stomach, her elbow digging into Emily’s ribs as she turns to look at the blonde.

 

“Em?”

 

Emily hums in response.

 

“What are you doing for your birthday?”

 

“I don’t celebrate my birthday.” Emily tells her and she ignores the way Kelley knits her eyebrows together and stares at her waiting for her to elaborate. It takes a few seconds but Emily sighs and continues to speak. “It’s not a big deal, we used to celebrate it a lot when we were younger but when we got older and especially from college onwards we just wouldn’t always be at home together on our birthdays so we celebrate it, _sure_ but it’s not a huge deal.”

 

Kelley looks aghast and the facial expression alone peaks Emily’s interest.

 

“We’re going to have to change that.” Kelley says determinedly.

 

“Good luck.” Emily sighs, lifting her arms and putting them behind her head, her eyes fluttering between open and closed. “- Hey did I tell you we’re going to my parents’ tonight?”

 

Kelley shoots upright, jaw locked into place as she cocks an eyebrow at Emily’s words.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Surprise?” Emily grins.

 

 

“Tell me _again_ why we’re doing this?” Kelley asks from the kitchen counter she’s sitting on with a half cup of coffee in her hand.

 

Kelley finds some satisfaction in hearing Emily’s loud groan from the living room before she mutes the TV, footsteps follow before a less than impressed Emily stands in the kitchen with her arms folded across her chest and her jaw locked.

 

“I’ve already explained it to you fourteen times-” Emily starts.

 

“- Then explain it a fifteenth.” Kelley interjects with a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she takes a sip of coffee.

 

“My parents want to meet you.” Emily explains and it’s not the long version; it’s got a bitter undertone from being repeated a lot over the last few hours.

 

“Do your parents meet _all_ your friends?” Kelley asks and she does her best to keep a stoic expression on her face as she lets Emily ponder the question, feeling a little smug when the question initially catches Emily off-guard.

 

“Only the hot ones.” Emily shrugs casually, tightening her ponytail and turning around to leave the kitchen feeling extremely satisfied by the noise Kelley makes which can only be described as something between wheezing and a snort.

 

_Kelley and Emily aren’t in a relationship, they’re sure of that._

 

Except it feels like it and to anybody who isn’t them that’s exactly what it looks like. They’re not girlfriends but Kelley sinks as far back into the passenger seat as possible, her fingers twisting in the seatbelt as she tries to rid the knotting in her stomach. She feels as nervous now as she did the last time she met her girlfriend’s parents. If Emily notices the way that Kelley’s breathing pattern changes and the way she twists the ring on her finger three times as Emily pulls up at her parents’ house she doesn’t say anything.

 

Emily kills the engine but doesn’t make an effort to get out of the car, neither does Kelley.

 

“I should probably warn you-” Emily starts and for a split second Kelley thinks that Emily can hear just how loud her heartbeat is.

 

“- I think Emma’s onto us.” Emily laughs nervously, lifting her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think she’s completely sure but I don’t think she’s buying the whole _platonic friends_ thing we have going on. I guess I’m saying don’t be surprised if she starts interrogating you.”

 

Kelley scoffs. “This isn’t my first time. I’ll be good.”

 

Kelley takes her seatbelt off and opens the car door completely missing the way Emily’s face falls with the confession. Emily swallows her hurt and follows suit, locking the car and running ahead to knock on the door.

 

The Sonnett’s are not how Kelley expected them to be yet they’re exactly how she expected them to be. It’s quick to figure out which parent Emily picked up certain mannerisms from, her laugh is exactly the same as her mom’s and it doesn’t take Kelley long to figure that one out. Kelley finds out that Emily inherited her dad’s humor. Emily melts back into her family life with such ease that she finds it hard to believe that for the last two months they’ve been living in a house together and Emily hasn’t been with her family the entire time.

 

One of Kelley’s traits is her ability to charm almost anybody she talks to; sometimes without even trying but within the hour she has formed a bond with Emily’s dad and they spend nearly twenty minutes outside on the porch talking about all things football whilst Emily not-so-subtly watches on which earns a punch to her shoulder from Emma who shoots her an incredulous look but Emily just shrugs and slides away. By the time dinner is nearly ready, Kelley has Jane laughing and bringing her in for a hug as she shouts to Emily that she should bring Kelley by more often.

 

Kelley finally rejoins Emily in the living room, sitting beside her on the couch a little too close to be considered platonic and Emma picks up on it immediately. She leans forward and places her glass down on the table before looking between Kelley and Emily with a slight hint of a smirk on her lips.

 

“Kelley, can I ask you something?” Emma asks, ignoring the way Emily’s eyes widen.

 

“Sure.” Kelley replies smoothly, stretching her arm out over the back of the couch.

 

“Are you screwing my sister?”

 

If Kelley and Emily both had drinks they are pretty sure they both would’ve spat them out across the room.

 

“Emma!” Emily exclaims, whipping her head around to see if either one of her parents are in earshot.

 

Emma has a satisfied smirk on her face as she leans back in the armchair, she tilts her head to the side as she looks between Kelley and Emily again who are both bright red and avoiding Emma’s eyes and the question that still lingers in the air.

 

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Emma reminds them at the same moment that Jane calls the girls for dinner.

 

“Shit, we’re out of time.” Emily offers Emma a small smile before she’s up, her hand wrapped in Kelley’s as she pulls her off the couch too and out of the room before Kelley’s even registered what’s happening.

 

Dinner reveals secrets, embarrassing secrets that for the most part have Emily hiding behind her napkin and groaning about how _that didn’t happen_ and _who told you that? That’s a lie_. Emma takes the lead for the most part; she embarrasses Emily in so many ways that Emily wonders if she’s still young enough to be told off if she throws a potato at her sister’s head. Kelley’s no help, she just laughs until she feels as though she can’t breathe but when her hand rests again Emily’s thigh under the table, Emily thinks she could handle just a little more embarrassment.

 

Dinner ends and Kelley offers to help with the washing up but Jane laughs and tells her that it’s Bill’s job and she should go and spend some time with Emily – even Kelley knows that could be a bad idea. It doesn’t take long for Kelley to find Emily; she’s outside holding a bottle of beer between her thumb and forefinger.

 

“Trying to get drunk without me, Sonnett?” Kelley teases as she steps outside into the cool air, shivering a little as she rubs her arms.

 

Emily turns around, a small smile on her face. “I have to; it takes me longer to get drunk.”

 

“Are you calling me a _lightweight_?” Kelley asks her, cocking an eyebrow as though she’s expecting a challenge. “I don’t remember me being the one who got drunk after three beers and two vodka shots.”

 

Emily rolls her eyes but doesn’t fight back so Kelley joins her instead, bumping her arm as they stand beside each other.

 

“Tonight was successful?” It comes out more of a question than Emily intended it to be. “My parents love you.”

 

“Most parents love me, I’m fucking great.” Kelley grins as she takes the bottle from Emily’s hands and takes a sip. “Still think Emma’s onto us?”

 

“Yes she is.” Another voice answers.

 

Kelley and Emily spin around as Emma walks out onto the porch holding her hands up in surrender.

 

“I promise no interrogation or forward questions except for is this actually a thing or are you two screwing with me?” Emma asks.

 

“It’s a thing.” Emily replies. “I don’t know what thing but it’s a thing and it’s cool.”

 

Emma nods before clasping her hands together and gushing causing Emily to roll her eyes as Emma runs forward and wraps her sister in a hug. Emily mouths _help me_ to Kelley but Kelley just slowly shakes her head and takes a long drag of the beer. Kelley thinks she’s in the clear until Emma turns around and points a finger at her.

 

“If you hurt my sister O’Hara, I swear to god I will k-”

 

“Okay, okay, maybe you should go and help dad.” Emily interjects all whilst pushing Emma back towards the house.

 

“- Kill you!” Emma shouts just before Emily shuts the door and turns around.

 

Emily’s just about to apologize for the threat but Kelley beats her to it and by beats her to it, she slides up in front of Emily and wraps her hand around the back of Emily’s neck and kisses her, bumping their noses in the process and causing Emily to smile. It’s soft and it feels different, having someone outside of their teammates knowing, having a family member know makes it different.

 

It makes it feel even more real than it felt before.

 

 

“So this is your childhood bedroom, _huh_?” Kelley walks around the room whilst Emily stands by the door, ready to unleash all her embarrassing childhood secrets, crushes and obsessions to Kelley. “It’s – uh – you really were a nineties cliché.”

 

“You grew up in the nineties too.” Emily protests as Kelley points to the Backstreet Boys poster that’s hanging above Emily’s bed.

 

Kelley hums in agreement. “Yeah but I was cool.”

 

“All you’re missing is an inflatable chair and a fluffy cushion.” Kelley teases as she throws herself back on Emily’s bed and holds her hand out towards Emily.

 

Emily walks into the room, kicking her door shut as she crosses the room and sits down on the bed crossing her legs as Kelley sits upright. They sit in silence for a minute before Kelley gets an idea and she’s tilting her head to the side to look at Emily with a small smirk threatening to form.

 

“What?” Emily draws out the question cautiously.

 

“Tell me Sonnett-” Kelley moves so that she’s hovering over Emily, her hand already moving underneath Emily’s shirt to draw circles against her hip. “- Have you ever had sex in your childhood bedroom?”

 

Emily snorts. “No way, not in this house, my parents wouldn’t even let me have my best friend up here without keeping my door open.”

 

“Want to change that?” Kelley asks and Emily answers her by pulling her down so that she can kiss her.

 

Emily’s lips taste like beer mostly, it’s a fruity kind of beer and Kelley can’t get enough of the taste of it. Kelley keeps inching Emily’s shirt higher until she’s able to lift it off over her head and toss it aside. Emily moves the collar of Kelley’s shirt until her fingers brush over the hickey that’s starting to fade and Emily’s not about to let that happen so she gets to work. It isn’t until Emily starts laughing and pulls away covering her face with her hands that Kelley sits back, staring at Emily confused.

 

“I’m sorry.” Emily laughs as she pulls her hands away from her face. “I just – it’s just – I can literally feel AJ McLean staring at us from my poster. It’s weird.”

 

Kelley just shakes her head but she can’t stop the smile forming.

 

“An AJ girl? I was always a Kevin girl.” Kelley admits. “You’re really not going to do this with that poster there, are you?”

 

“How would you feel having sex in front of a poster of the band you have been obsessed with since you could walk?!” Emily exclaims. “AJ was my first crush, I feel like I’m cheating.”

 

“Oh my god.” Kelley draws the words out slowly as Emily blushes and hides her face behind one of the cushions on her bed.

 

Kelley stands up on her tiptoes and pulls the poster down from the wall being careful not to rip it as she rolls it up and drops it down the side of Emily’s bed before turning her attention back to the blonde.

 

“Better?” Kelley asks her.

 

Emily pulls her by the back of the neck down to her until their foreheads are touching.

 

“Much.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exactly 8 months later and we're back... lmao I'm so sorry. I have no idea where I disappeared, well, I do, I'm about to graduate from college and my updates have been non-existent because I've been stressing since the school year started and well, hopefully updates start coming over the next month or so, yes, I'm planning to update them all, eventually. I don't know. I'm just sorry but I'm also laughing because 8 months? that's wild. (also check out my new updated summary, I actually kind of love it now)
> 
> anyway. here we go and I'm going to crawl back into the hole I came out of.

_November, 2016_

 

O’Hara holidays are the reason Kelley loves going home so much. Her mom always goes all out for whatever holiday they’re celebrating, once she’s reunited with her siblings it’s like they’ve lost the last ten years or so of their lives and they’re bickering teenagers that are still in high school – managing to annoy each other within the space of seconds. Kelley misses that during the season.

 

Every time she returns to her childhood home even for just a few days; Kelley realizes just how much she misses it. She’s always loved the adventure, living in different states, different cities, different sides of the country but she always wants to come home.

 

 _Maybe it has a different meaning now_.

 

Emily and Kelley are capable of being apart; god knows they spent the season on opposite coasts but after spending the last month or so attached by the hip almost every day – it’s clear that they have integrated themselves so much into the other’s lives that it makes Kelley’s favorite holiday almost unbearable without Emily at her side.

 

Kelley doesn’t miss Emily. She doesn’t. She’s just sent Emily four messages in the last ten minutes because she wanted to keep Emily updated on a typical O’Hara Thanksgiving. Kelley _doesn’t_ miss Emily though.

 

“What’s going on between you two, huh?” Erin leans over the back of the couch and knocks Kelley’s phone out of her hand and onto the floor. “I’m sure mom would love to have her over for dinner.”

 

“Shut up.” Kelley mumbles out feebly as she leans down and scrambles to pick up her phone. “We’re just friends.”

 

“ _Still_?” Erin asks; raising her left eyebrow incredulously. “You two have the least platonic friendship of anybody I know.”

 

“ _Thank you_.” Kelley sarcastically draws out as she pushes herself up from the couch and starts to walk towards the kitchen but not before Erin grabs her arm and pulls her out into the hallway and away from all the commotion.

 

“I promise I’m not going to give you a big sister speech-” Erin starts.

 

Kelley rolls her eyes but doesn’t interrupt.

 

“It’s been a long time since you’ve been this happy, Kel and you can’t even try to deny it because you’re always talking about her and every time you look down at your phone you smile – _no – I’m serious_. Stop trying to pretend that you two are just friends, if she makes you happy – do something about it.”

 

“Are you done?” Kelley asks as she crosses her arms over her chest to feign annoyance but she knows that Erin is right, she _hates_ that Erin is right. “I think I can hear Jerry calling me to play football.” Kelley’s already backing away and Erin lets her go; not telling her that Jerry’s upstairs.

 

**[Emily Sonnett]**

 

_You’re having fun  
without me? _

 

**[Kelley O’Hara]**

 

 _I_ _t would be more fun  
if you were here. _

 

**[Emily Sonnett]**

 

_Obviously._

Kelley is just about to slip her phone back into her pocket when it chimes again.

 

**[Emily Sonnett]**

 

 _Mom just asked about_  
you. She said she misses  
you.

 

Kelley _isn’t_ smiling.

 

**[Kelley O’Hara]**

 

_Of course she does. Have  
you met me? _

 

Kelley doesn’t get a written reply; instead she gets three consecutive messages with the middle finger emoji.

 

“It’s _so_ good to have you home.” Karen sighs contentedly as she slides up beside Kelley with her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “You must introduce Emily to us before Christmas.”

 

Kelley doesn’t have to but she looks over towards the kitchen where Erin’s standing with a glass of wine in her hand that she tips towards Kelley with a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

“Yeah sure.” Kelley laughs lightly. “I’ll get on that. It makes sense anyway because I’ve already met hers.”

 

Kelley freezes up once she says it, eyebrows furrowed as she stares at the photograph that sits above the fireplace; it’s a photograph from five years ago, it’s Christmas and she’s sitting in the middle of Erin and Jerry with the three of them wearing matching pajamas in front of the Christmas tree. Her mom is staring at her with an almost surprised expression on her face whilst Erin’s eyes are switching between the both of them.

 

“It was no big deal though; Em made me go.” Kelley tries to play it off as though it didn’t mean anything, she’s met a _lot_ of her teammates’ parents.

 

“Sure.” Kelley can hear Erin’s voice. “She totally _made_ you go.”

 

“It’s her birthday tomorrow anyway so if you want to meet her I guess we can do it next week.” Kelley shrugs as she finally moves out of her mom’s grip and walks into the kitchen.

 

“Birthday? Are you planning anything? Like getting over your fear of commitment.” Erin teases and Kelley knows not to take it seriously.

 

“I’ll get over mine when you get over yours.” Kelley knows it’s a dumb response that doesn’t carry any meaning but when Erin rolls her eyes; Kelley smirks.

 

“What have you got planned? _Seriously_?” Erin pushes; raising an eyebrow as she stares at Kelley with intrigue covering her face.

 

“I’ve got some ideas but I’ll need to get home early tomorrow; I know Em’s not getting back until midday.” Kelley starts thinking aloud and walking around the kitchen almost deep in thought and not noticing that Erin is hot on her heels trying to find out what Kelley’s plans are. “She doesn’t like celebrating her birthday though but I think it’s because she hasn’t had a real celebration since she was in high school.”

 

“Let me get this straight-” Erin drops her hand onto Kelley’s shoulder causing Kelley to jump and come to an abrupt halt. “- You’re planning a birthday party for your girlfriend-who-isn’t-your-girlfriend who doesn’t celebrate her birthday because you think she wants one but doesn’t want to ask for one.”

 

Kelley turns around slowly, eyebrows knit together as she lets Erin’s words slowly register before nodding.

 

“Pretty much.”

 

Erin scoffs. “You might be better just writing _I love you Emily_ on a banner in glitter.”

 

“Grow up.” Kelley huffs as she pushes Erin’s shoulder.

 

Kelley’s phone chimes from inside her pocket.

 

“Ten bucks says that’s Emily.” Erin bets with an amused twinkle in her eye.

 

Kelley rolls her eyes and pulls her phone out of her pocket. It is Emily but Kelley keeps a straight face.

 

“It’s Alex.”

 

Erin narrows her eyes, clearly not believing Kelley but she doesn’t ask for proof.

 

**[Emily Sonnett]**

 

 _This fucking sucks._  
You have made me  
hate my favorite  
holiday.

 

**[Kelley O’Hara]**

 

_I’m an hour away from you.  
What have I done? _

 

**[Emily Sonnett]**

 

 _That’s the point!_  
You’re 1 hour away  
from me.

 

**[Kelley O’Hara]**

 

_You can say you miss me._

 

Kelley doesn’t get an immediate reply this time so she drops her phone onto the kitchen counter and taps her fingers against the end of the counter; outside she can hear her dad and Jerry shouting over each other before laughing.

 

Kelley’s phone starts to ring but Kelley doesn’t even have to look to know its Emily calling her.

 

“I miss you, okay? I really fucking miss you.” Emily says before Kelley can even say hello.

 

“Who is this?” Kelley teases.

 

“You’re so _not_ funny.” Emily huffs, her voice echoing as she speaks.

 

“Are you in the bathroom?” Kelley asks.

 

“I’m not telling you I miss you in front of Emma and have to deal with her teasing me for the rest of the day.” Emily replies as though it’s the most obvious reasoning in the world. “I think I bruised my ass.”

 

Kelley can’t help but laugh at Emily’s inability to stay serious for more than a few minutes at a time and her love for changing the subject sixty times in one conversation.

 

“I have _so_ many replies to that but _how_?” Kelley asks her.

 

“I bet my younger cousin that I could slide down the stairs faster than her and I think I bruised my ass – but I won!” Emily exclaims.

 

“I’m proud of you, love.”

 

“Shit – that’s my mom calling me for dinner. I’ll talk to you later. _Yes mom I’m coming!_ ”

 

The call cuts off after that.

 

                                                                                                                   ****                                                         

 

Thanksgiving goes into full swing that afternoon; Jerry and Kelley fight over setting the table, pushing and shoving ensues; Erin has to convince her mom that they’re both actually sober and choosing to fight like children. Kelley finds herself melting back into family life with so much ease that for a second she forgets the inner battle that she’s having with her head and heart. Kelley plays football in the backyard after dinner with the guys and they have a guys vs. girls soccer game afterwards that the girls win (with ease).

 

It’s coming to the end of the evening and heading into the night when Kelley ventures back out of the house; she’s managed to escape the grasps of a distant Aunt who has spent the last fifteen minutes asking a million questions about Kelley’s soccer career whilst trying to make not-so-subtle digs that soccer isn’t an actual career – being a soccer player beats being an accountant.

 

She has a glass of wine in one hand as she sits down on one of the deck chairs, letting the breeze blow through her hair and against the back of her neck as she holds the bottom of the glass in a death grip; her feet kicked up on the fire pit.

 

Kelley’s phone rings with a FaceTime call from Emily that Kelley answers immediately.

 

“Do you remember the first time we did this?” Emily asks almost immediately.

 

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” Kelley laughs softly as she brings her wine glass up to her lips.

 

“The first time I ever Facetime called you; it was New Year’s Eve last year and you were sitting outside on a chair with a glass of wine in your hand.” Emily grins into her phone; it’s a toothy grin and she’s swaying slightly as she makes her way through the house.

 

“I can’t believe you remember that.”

 

“I remember everything.” Emily smirks and Kelley very much doubts her.

 

“Humor me.” Kelley sighs tiredly as she slouches into the chair. “What else do you remember?”

 

“I can’t remember.”

 

Kelley over-exaggerates her eye roll.

 

“Kelley?”

 

Kelley hums in response.

 

“It’s nearly my birthday so thanks – for you know – making twenty-two a pretty good fucking year.” Emily muses, she’s smirking as she says the words but she makes little to no effort to hide the fondness lacing her tone.

 

“It’s not over yet; I could easily ruin it in the next two hours.” Kelley mildly threatens though she’s mostly just teasing to see if she can get her desired reaction from Emily.

 

“But you won’t.” Emily shoots her down immediately.

 

“But I won’t.” Kelley repeats.

 

“I’ll see you back at home?” Emily asks before turning her head back towards her house and nodding slightly. “ _I’m coming. Tell him to give me a minute_.”

 

“I’ll be there; night Sonnett.”

 

 

It was a good idea at the time. Wake up a little before the crack of dawn, drive back to the house and put up a bunch of decorations – including sitting and blowing up twenty plus balloons because she has nothing better to do with her morning and manage to do it all before eleven and Emily gets back to the house.

 

She’s tired, she’s a _little_ hungover and she wants nothing more than to stay in bed and block the sun out with her pillow and sleep until noon – something she hasn’t done since high school. She knows she can’t because she has a pile of banners and numerous balloon packets sitting on their kitchen counter and they’re not going to blow themselves up so she reluctantly drags herself out of bed and gets ready to leave.

 

Erin’s never been subtle; she’s blunter than anybody else Kelley knows and whilst Kelley is busy pouring coffee into a travel mug she asks the question.

 

“Do you love her?”

 

Kelley scoffs immediately. “What do you think?”

 

Kelley goes about screwing the lid to the mug on tightly, tighter than it needs to be because she’s aware that Erin’s eyes are burning into the back of her head. Kelley’s knuckles are turning white but she doesn’t release her grip on the lid.

 

“It’s okay if you do.”

 

“No. No it’s not.” This time Kelley answers and she’s spinning around to face Erin faster than she can allow the next words out of her mouth to be said before she’s thought them through. “I can’t. I’m not letting emotions and feelings get involved again – that’s screwed me over before and I’m not about to let it happen again.”

 

“… So… You do?” Erin asks slowly, barely raising her voice above a whisper in case Kelley lets her emotions boil over.

 

“I don’t. I don’t love her. I _care_ about her. Let’s leave it at that. Tell mom I said bye and I’ll call her tomorrow.” Kelley takes that as her opportunity to quickly escape the house and walk to her car.

 

She sits in her car for nearly ten minutes before she makes any effort to start the engine and leave. The coffee burns the back of her throat as she stares at the houses across the street, partly wondering where everything managed to become so complicated but mostly wondering if Emily’s had this near-emotional breakdown that Kelley’s on the verge of having.

 

**[Kelley O’Hara]**

_Happy birthday Em!_

 

Kelley doesn’t expect a reply straight away and she definitely isn’t surprised when she doesn’t get one. Instead she tosses her phone onto the empty passenger seat, takes one last look through the rearview mirror and notices Erin standing by the living room mirror staring out towards her car, puts her seatbelt on and pulls out of the driveway to head back home.

 

She spends the next hour blowing up at least thirty balloons, huffing and after gasping for breath after the third one she wonders why she didn’t just buy a pump and take the easy way out. She throws each balloon up into the air and makes her own amusement by kicking it or smacking it in different directions until she finishes. She barely catches the time when she checks her phone before she’s pushing the coffee table closer to the fireplace and standing on it as she tries to hang the banner above the fireplace. It takes Kelley at least three tries for her to be able to get it straight and she’s standing on her tiptoes barely managing to grasp the top corner of the banner to stick it into place. Kelley knows she’s running late and has less than forty minutes before Emily’s supposedly getting back to the house – _supposedly._

 

Kelley grabs Emily’s birthday cake from the outside freezer; its vanilla flavored and Kelley fought back the urge to call Emily out on her unoriginal taste in cakes but she sets it neatly on the kitchen counter with twenty-three candles carefully placed. She kicks a few balloons out of the way as she walks into the bedroom yawning. Glancing down at her watch, Kelley realizes she has a little time to nap before Emily gets back and lord knows she needs it.

 

 _It’s only five minutes_.

 

Kelley’s so deep asleep that she doesn’t hear the front door opening, she doesn’t hear Emily haphazardly throwing her bag onto the floor, she doesn’t hear Emily shouting her name three or four times. Kelley’s eyes start to flutter when the bedroom door swings open.

 

“Kel? Are you asleep?” Emily asks quietly. “Kel?”

 

Kelley mumbles out a string of incoherent words.

 

“What?” Emily laughs.

 

“Happy birthday, Em.” Kelley repeats more coherently this time. “I’ll get up now.”

 

“No, no, don’t-” Emily lets her hand fall on Kelley’s shoulder before Kelley fully wakes up. “- It’s still going to be my birthday in an hour.”

 

Emily kicks her shoes off and climbs into bed under the covers and lies down, staring up at the ceiling until Kelley slings her arm over Emily’s stomach and pulls her closer so that she can lay her head mostly on Emily’s shoulder instead of the pillow.

 

It’s comfortable. Being back with her family yesterday for Thanksgiving was definitely something Kelley needed and she’s formed a new appreciation for her family over the years especially with living so far away from home most of the time but Emily’s home too. It’s different but they both make Kelley feel a sense of comfort that she doesn’t think she could ever put into words.

 

They definitely sleep longer than an hour by the time Kelley wakes up and feels a lot brighter. Emily’s still asleep beside her so Kelley doesn’t make any initial effort to move. She waits it out for a couple of minutes, mostly just listening to Emily’s breathing before she moves and tilts her head back so that she’s able to kiss Emily’s jaw.

 

Emily makes a noise. Something between a hum of agreement and mumbling something incoherent so Kelley does it again.

 

“Did you decorate the house by yourself?” Emily asks as she cracks open one eye.

 

“I did. This morning before you got here.” Kelley answers.

 

Kelley’s fingers twist into the hem of Emily’s sweatshirt before Emily flips onto her side so that she can face Kelley easily. Emily’s hair is a mess and there are stray hairs flying across her face as she smiles at Kelley, half of her face is buried into the pillows and she looks ready to fall back asleep any second.

 

“What do you want to do?” Kelley asks; her voice barely above a whisper.

 

Emily grins. “Blow out my candles and eat my cake. Let’s go.”

 

It takes Kelley until Emily’s thrown the comforter off them and jumped out of bed that Emily is actually being serious and the only thing she wants to do is eat her cake.

 

“You know you’re a child, right?” Kelley asks as she shuffles out of her bedroom, yawning and narrowing her eyes at Emily sitting at the kitchen counter and staring intensely at the cake.

 

“ _I know_.” Emily sighs.

 

Kelley just smiles and shakes her head as she walks into the kitchen and pulls open one of the drawers to look for a lighter to light the candles. Emily waits patiently as Kelley carefully lights twenty-three candles before placing the lighter aside.

 

“Happy birthday, Em.” Kelley says for the third time that day.

 

“What? You’re not singing happy birthday to me?” Emily asks with a frown.

 

“ _Oh, come on_.” Kelley groans but Emily doesn’t let up.

 

Kelley’s resolve melted the second that Emily frowned but Kelley would _never_ tell her that and instead through gritted teeth and a number of eye rolls – Kelley sings happy birthday much to Emily’s amusement. Emily honestly couldn’t have cared less if Kelley didn’t sing happy birthday but just knowing she has the ability to twist Kelley’s arm in almost anything is something she’s definitely planning to continue taking advantage of.

 

Emily blows out her candles.

 

“Did you make a wish?” Kelley asks her as she leans over the counter.

 

“I did.” Emily nods as the pair start to pull the candles from the cake.

 

“What did you wish for?” Kelley asks her with one eyebrow raised as they make a pile of candles in-between them.

 

“I can’t tell you otherwise it won’t come true.” Emily replies as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“You probably wished for something stupid then.”

 

“I’m still not telling you.” Emily sings.

 

                                                                                                                     ****

 

Kelley asks Emily what she wants to do for the rest of her birthday and that’s how Kelley finds herself in a bar drinking lukewarm beer and letting Emily talk to her about the first thing that comes to mind. She talks about everything and half of the time Kelley wonders whether Emily actually knows what she’s talking about.

 

“I’m not ungrateful because the house looks so good and the cake was _so fucking good_ but-” Emily starts but Kelley’s quick to cut her off knowing exactly where she’s heading.

 

“- Yes-” Kelley laughs as she nudges Emily’s thigh with her foot. “I got you a couple of presents but they’re back at the house.”

 

“What did you get me?” Emily asks, her eyes suddenly lighting up.

 

Kelley scowls. “Do you really think I’m going to fall for that?”

 

“It was worth a shot, right?” Emily grins as she takes a drag of beer.

 

They spend a couple of hours at the bar and it doesn’t take as long as Kelley expected for Emily to open up about being left off the roster for the Romania friendlies.

 

“It fucking sucked, you know?” Emily grumbles as she scratches at the label on her empty bottle. “I thought I did okay when we played Switzerland.”

 

“Being left off one roster doesn’t make you a bad player, Em.” Kelley tries to reassure her. “You know this is an experimentation period, it doesn’t mean anything.”

 

“What if Switzerland was my chance and I blew it?” Emily suggests.

 

“You didn’t blow it; trust the process and that. Next camp will be different.” Kelley glances at Emily who nods and sighs.

 

“Presents?” Emily asks, already brightening up as she stands up from the chair and lets her gaze fall on Kelley.

 

Kelley hums. “Definitely a child.”

 

 

Kelley angles herself in the cab so that Emily can’t get a good look at her phone as she texts Emma and Erin and asks if everything is set up. They both reply yes, well, Erin tells her to calm the fuck down because everything is good so Kelley just rolls her eyes and pockets her phone instead. She doesn’t say anything until they’re back at the house and walking up the driveway.

 

“Catch!” Kelley calls out and tosses her house keys to Emily who catches them with one hand without taking her eyes off her phone.

 

Kelley tries to hide her smile as Emily opens the front door and flicks the light on as Emily’s friends and family jump out from various rooms and from behind different pieces of furniture and shout surprise.

 

“What the fuck?!” Emily shouts as her go to reaction in any situation when she’s surprised. “Kelley – what – what did you do?!”

 

Kelley just laughs as she walks up behind Emily and wraps her arms around her shoulders. “Surprise?”

 

“I can’t believe you – holy shit-” Emily splutters out; knitting her eyebrows together before relaxing and just generally looking around with a confused expression on her face but a smile that could light up the room.

 

“Happy birthday little sis!” Emma exclaims as she reaches Emily and pulls her into a tight hug.

 

“We’re twins.”

 

“I’m taller though.” Emma argues. “Welcome to _our_ birthday party.”

 

Kelley just laughs as Emma drags Emily away to see their family and friends whilst Erin slides up beside Kelley.

 

“About this morning…” Erin trails out, grimacing a little as she thinks through how she wants to bring it up.

 

“It’s fine.” Kelley dismisses. “We don’t need to talk about it; it is a party after all – let’s celebrate.” Kelley smiles.

 

 

Kelley loses Emily pretty quickly but she doesn’t mind; she knows for sure that Emily is having fun and that’s all that matters to her so she escapes the party for a little bit and sits down on the patio, swinging back on a chair and ignoring her mom’s and every elementary, middle and high school teacher’s voice in the back of her mind that’s telling her she’s going to fall and crack her head open.

 

The door slides open and for a second Kelley thinks it might be Emily but it’s Erin and she hangs by the door for a few seconds whilst the sisters just let the silence hang over them.

 

“I think you _might_ have been right.” Kelley sighs as she glances up to meet Erin’s eyes. “I think I had a feeling I did but you being so fucking blunt about it kind of confirmed what I already knew.”

 

“And?” Erin asks cautiously.

 

“What?” Kelley asks her, furrowing her eyebrows.

 

“What are you going to do?” Erin asks. She slowly pushes herself off the wall and makes her way towards Kelley. “What do you want to do?”

 

“Nothing.” Kelley replies almost immediately. “This stays between you and me-”

 

“- So you two are just going to go on with whatever you’re doing and you’re going to pretend like it’s still _a bit of fun_? Are you sure you want to do that?”

 

“I think I have to.” Kelley sighs before meeting Erin’s eyes once again. “Come on; you know me, you know this is the right thing to do.”

 

“You know you deserve to be happy too, _right_?” Erin asks Kelley.

 

Kelley scoffs before falling silent. Kelley doesn’t tend to think a lot about the choices she makes in full detail but the last year of her life or so has been almost a whirlwind of events; the highs and the lows. It would be hard for anybody to not sit back and evaluate the things that had happened and Kelley finds herself doing it a lot when Emily’s involved.

 

“I guess-” Kelley starts but before she can fully agree with Erin the door slides open and Emily stumbles out, eyes scanning the patio. “Em?”

 

“Kelley!” Emily exclaims. “Just who I’m looking for!”

 

Erin looks between Kelley and Emily before turning around and walking towards Emily, stopping to wish her happy birthday before retreating back into the house leaving Emily to stumble over to Kelley and essentially fall into Kelley’s lap and wrap her arms around Kelley’s neck – accidentally elbowing her in the jaw as she does so.

 

Kelley’s fingers trace patterns on Emily’s arms.

 

“You listened to me.”

 

It’s not a question. It’s a statement and by the time that Kelley sets her gaze on Emily; Emily is already looking at her waiting for a reply. Emily doesn’t give Kelley a chance to reply, not yet anyway.

 

“That afternoon we spent at the field and I told you I didn’t celebrate my birthday and you told me you were going to change it. I guess I should’ve seen this coming?” Emily laughs lightly. “I didn’t think I’d made it clear enough that I _sorta_ wanted to do something for my birthday.”

 

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are.” Kelley shrugs.

 

“How did you do this without me realizing? I _literally_ haven’t left your side.” Emily mumbles out before dropping her head onto Kelley’s shoulder.

 

“Emma and Erin, mostly. Remember I said I had a couple of meetings last week?” Kelley asks and Emily nods. “I didn’t. I was going to get stuff, like your cake, decorations; I just told you I had meetings early because I know you wouldn’t get out of bed to come with me.”

 

Emily laughs and Kelley can feel her shaking her head. “ _Thank you_. You still haven’t given me my present, you know?”

 

Kelley shakes her head. “You’re right.”

 

Emily huffs. “Can I _have_ it?”

 

“ _Technically_ it isn’t something I can give you.” Kelley shrugs causing Emily to lift her head from Kelley’s shoulder so that she can look her in the eye. “I’ll show you later, okay?”

 

Emily shrugs before leaning forward and kissing Kelley quickly. Emily’s hands move to the back of Kelley’s neck as she leans forward until her forehead is pressed against Kelley’s.

 

“Kel?” Emily asks; the vibrations of her words against Kelley’s lips cause Kelley to laugh slightly. “I think twenty-three is going to be a good fucking year.”

 

Kelley answers her back with a kiss.

 

Emily leans back, her eyes are glassy and a lovestruck smile twitching at the corners of her lips as she leans into Kelley’s side, radiating warmth as she curls her arms around Kelley’s waist and twists her hands in the material of Kelley’s jean jacket, her breath tickles Kelley’s neck and blows loose strands of hair into Kelley’s eyes but neither of them make an effort to move, too comfortable.

 

That’s the problem.

 

After managing to escape the party for nearly twenty minutes; Emily and Kelley retreat back inside where Kelley is immediately wrapped in a hug from Jane. Emily pretends as though she isn’t watching the interaction between the pair of them with obvious heart eyes but Emma isn’t buying it as she slides up beside her sister with a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

“Could you try and be _less_ in love with her?”

 

“Shut up?” Emily suggests. “I’m just watching them.”

 

“ _Staring at Kelley because you’re in love with her_. Same thing.” Emma shrugs casually as she links her arm through Emily’s. “I think you should tell her.”

 

“I think – I haven’t listened to you for the last twenty-three years and I’m definitely _not_ starting now.” Emily scowls but that doesn’t deter Emma.

 

“She feels the same way, you know?” Emma sighs, glancing between Kelley and Emily. “It’s obvious. You can see it when you two are together, dude; she looks at you like you have the fucking stars in your eyes.”

 

“ _Really_?” Emily’s eyes widen before she narrows them before she completely drops her gaze to the floor.

 

“Scouts honor.” Emma grins. “I, mean, you do it too – you’re _always_ staring at her, talking about her, you mentioned her fifty times yester-”

 

“That’s enough.” Emily shoves Emma away whilst trying to keep the blush from rising up her neck as Kelley walks back towards them.

 

Kelley almost absentmindedly wraps her arm around Emily’s waist and pulls her into her side as she strikes up a conversation with Emma.

 

It feels normal. It feels as though they have been in this routine for years – that it’s natural for Kelley to throw her a surprise birthday party and treat Emily as though she’s her girlfriend. Emily _hates_ how easy she has found herself fitting into Kelley’s life as though she has been there all along, she _hates_ how over the last month they have spent every day together but one and how much she hated not having Kelley around yesterday.

 

She loves it though.

 

                                                                                                                        ****

 

It’s two-thirty in the morning.

 

Everybody left nearly an hour ago and Emily’s lying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep. Kelley cleans up the house whilst glancing over at Emily more than a few times as she fills the dishwasher. Kelley tells herself it’s because she just wants to make sure that Emily isn’t about to fall off the couch or something stupid like that.

 

“If you want it to wash dishes; you have to turn it on.” Emily’s sleepy drawl shoots across the room and forces Kelley to stand up straight, dropping the fork in her hand to the floor to the sound of Emily’s laughter.

 

“I know that.”

 

Emily snorts as she sits up, brushing her hair out of her face and letting her gaze fall on Kelley who is still staring at her.

 

“Nice comeback.” Emily sarcastically draws out. “You missed a plate.” Emily nods towards the plate sitting on the coffee table. “I’ll bring it over.” Emily adds before Kelley can make any attempt to move from the spot she’s stuck in.

 

Kelley doesn’t fall speechless a lot, or freeze to the spot but she can barely move a muscle as Emily crosses the room to the kitchen tiredly, holding out the plate to Kelley. It takes a few seconds for Kelley to lift her arm up and grip the plate – her hand covering Emily’s. It feels foreign. Neither Emily or Kelley move their hands for a moment until Emily laughs and it sounds a little choked up and dreary.

 

“What’s up?” Emily asks and she asks it so softly that Kelley barely registers the question above how fucking loud her heart is beating. “Dude?”

 

“Nothing.” Kelley scoffs; snapping back to reality in an instant. “It’s nothing.” She adds, softer this time.

 

Kelley wordlessly takes the plate from Emily’s hands and places it into the dishwasher before shutting it and pressing the on button. Emily looks towards the bedroom but doesn’t make any attempt to move towards the room.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. It was no big deal.” Kelley shrugs, backing up until she’s able to lean back against the counter. She crosses her arms over her chest.

 

“Liar.” Emily teases. “I caught your reaction when everybody surprised me.”

 

A smile tugs at the corners of Kelley’s lips. “I was just impressed that I managed to surprise you.”

 

“Again, that’s a lie.” Emily deadpans. “Admit it.”

 

“Fine.” Kelley replies with an over-exaggerated eye roll. “I – _guess_ – I like that I still have the ability to surprise you.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.” Emily groans only causing Kelley to laugh slightly.

 

Kelley rubs her hands up and down Emily’s arms and tilts her head to the side as loose hair falls out of Emily’s bun and rests against her makeup smudged cheeks. Lifting her hand, Kelley tentatively curls her fingers around the back of Emily’s neck and pulls her closer so that their lips are touching but not enough to class it as a kiss.

 

“Kel?”

 

Kelley hums in response.

 

“Where’s my present?”

 

Kelley drops her head to Emily’s shoulder with a brash laugh and a small mumbled _fine._ Kelley leaves Emily hanging in the kitchen whilst she disappears into the bedroom and retrieves a brown envelope and two neatly wrapped presents in white and gold wrapping paper finished with a gold bow stuck to the top right corners of each present.

 

Emily’s eyes light up and she makes grabby hands towards the parcels eliciting an eye roll from Kelley as she places the presents on the counter and slides them across to Emily so that the blonde can grasp them.

 

“Which should I open first?” Emily asks, eyeing all three presents carefully.

 

Kelley retracts the envelope and holds it under her arm. “Those two.”

 

Emily raises her eyebrows but does what she’s told and tears the wrapping paper off the presents – a hoodie that’s not too dissimilar from a beige colored hoodie that Kelley owns and a set of two candles but it’s the third present that Kelley’s mostly concerned about, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth – Kelley slides the envelope over to Emily.

 

Emily carefully peels the envelope open and slides the piece of card out. Kelley holds her breath as she leans over the kitchen counter and watches as Emily reads what is written down, her eyes widening once she realizes what it is.

 

“Holy shit. Holy shit. _Kelley._ ” Emily mumbles out in awe, the pads of her fingers tracing along the words. “Did you really name a star after me?”

 

Kelley is aware of the blush rising from her neck to her cheeks at an alarmingly fast pace and can only manage to nod her head in response.

 

Emily glances back down at the certificate once more and sees the star, _her_ star, a star named Emily Sonnett that is somewhere up in the night sky right now. Emily could honestly cry as she places the certificate down and rounds the counter, sliding in-between Kelley and the counter and kissing the brunette without giving Kelley a chance to say anything.

 

“I can’t believe you did that.”

 

“Like it?” Kelley asks, still worried whether this is just too much for a birthday present but Emily is shaking her head,

 

“No. God, no. I love it so much. I love y- I love it. Thank you.” Emily grins, throwing her arms around Kelley’s neck and sighing into her shoulder. “Show me my star?”

 

Kelley opens her mouth to tell Emily that she probably won’t be able to see the specific star but she doesn’t have the heart and instead she just curls her fingers around Emily’s wrist and drags her outside onto the patio and looks up to the sky, there’s a smattering of stars around and Kelley’s eyes focus on one near the moon and she points up,

 

“That one.” She smiles, “that’s yours.”

 

Emily makes a strangled noise in response – somewhere between a laugh and a sob as she curls herself around Kelley, brushing her lips against Kelley’s jaw. “Thank you, Kel.”

 

Kelley just holds Emily tighter.


End file.
